The Earthquake

I was typing in my laptop when the earthquake started shaking me at around 6.23pm on Sunday, 18^th September, 2011. My laptop was on my bed, and I was on a stool. It’s not a comfortable position because I had to stoop a little to be able to put both my hands on the laptop keyboard.

My daughter, Prakriti, 7, was reading her homework. She was sitting next to me on bed. There was no electricity, so we, my daughter and I, were working in the light of a lamp.

When I felt the first tremor, I took it as a normal shaking of the objects inside the room because of the vibration. My house is nearby the main road, so I often feel vibrations whenever a heavy vehicle passes by.

At first, I didn’t think it otherwise. But when the tremor became stronger and consistent, the idea of earthquake flashed in my mind. Suddenly, I was in panic.

‘Oh dear! The earthquake!’

When these words escaped out of my mouth, my daughter, who had already felt the shaking and was looking at me aghast, screamed and jumped into my lap. I held her firmly with my right hand and tried to soothe her. But no word came out of my mouth.

I slowly arose and took stand against the nearest wall. I dragged my daughter with me.  

‘God! When will it be gone?’, I prayed.

Meanwhile, my wife, sister-in-law and mother also came rushing toward us and held us tightly. The ground had become a cradle, and we the babies in it. Helpless! And forced to be swinging.

Even though the ground under me was trembling, I was sure that my house was not going to be demolished so easily. It is a non-storied house. Therefore, I did not have the panic which my neighbours had at the time. That’s why, I did not run out of my house as they did during the earthquake. I saw they were running on the road in search of a safer place! They made such big houses using their earning of whole life. And now, they were looking for safety somewhere else! What an irony! If one’s house cannot provide enough security in the time of need, then what’s the use of it?

Dowry system in Nepal

Dowry is money or property brought by a woman to her husband at marriage. It can be in the form of cash or valuable things. The practice of giving dowry to the bridegroom in wedding has long been practiced in Nepal though it is unknown who started it and when. Especially in the terai region, it has been an epidemic. There is no caste or creed untouched by its fire.

Due to the dowry system, women have become more vulnerable and the crimes against women have increased in a large scale. A woman is often tortured physically and mentally by her husband and his family in case she cannot bring enough money or valuables from her parents' house as per their demand. Many women lose their lives in Nepal's terai region every year. They are often beaten to death or burnt alive by their family. The media are often full of the news of this gruesome cruelty.

It is often the poor who have been suffering the most because of this ill-practice. A girl born in a poor family finds it very difficult to get a proper husband for her. She often cannot think of her marriage just because of her poverty. Even if she gets married, there is always a possibility of being tortured and victimized. The rich are also not happy when a girl is born in their family. But the family celebrates profusely if a boy is born. It has helped to increase discrimination between a boy and a girl. Many couples try abortion if a foetus is recognized as a girl.

However, it's not easy to convince people about the dowry system's disadvantages. Despite knowing everything, they cannot stop this practice for various reasons. Firstly, it has been a means to measure a family's property status in the society. The society values the amount of dowry given in the daughter's marriage. Second, the parents, if they are rich, do not want their daughter to suffer at her husband's house. Therefore, they themselves want to give her money and valuables as much as they can. It is because they love her. Third, it is now almost impossible to break the age-old tradition of giving dowry because it is deeply rooted in the society. A woman's parents generally do not have courage to revolt. But it can be stopped if all the men of our society protest the system by their heart.

In conclusion, dowry system has been a matter of shame for us. Daughters are being tortured or killed for their parents' inability to afford money for dowry. The system has also helped to increase the gender discrimination in the society. Therefore, it is high time we stopped practicing it if we want to make our society better.

(Written for academic purpose.)

Importance of grandparents to the grandchildren

Modern parents often don’t realize the importance of their parents to their children. It is generally because they mostly have to be busy.

Most of the modern families consist of a father, a mother and children (usually two). The concept of grandparents seems to be vanishing from the family scene. This has been a reason for ever-increasing corruption in social and moral values and rapidly growing emotional problems in children. A modern (unitary) family cannot often fulfill the lack of busy parents' care and attention.

In traditional eastern families, grandparents are still highly valued. They are often taken as the source of knowledge and home-skills. They are respected as the most important members of the family, and they are expected to provide the younger generation with blessings and security. But modern culture is increasingly penetrating into these traditional values and the young boys or girls have started ignoring their elders.

But as a modern parent, you must always put your efforts on creating opportunities for your children to be in touch with their grandparents. Your parents (your children’s grandparents) are your past and your children are your future. To make your future better, you must let them learn from your past.

Keeping your children in touch with their grandparents is your investment for future. Nobody can teach the children social, moral and personal values as effectively as their grandparents can. Most of the children feel more comfortable with their grandparents than with their parents. The children enjoy learning the values with their grandparents.

The grandparents are the source of knowledge and traditional skills. They are always eager to share their store of knowledge gained by lifelong learning with the younger ones. Therefore, your children can learn many practical life-skills from them and be ready for the future challenges.

Grandparents play important role to keep the family bond tight and intact. In today’s world, many families break up because of the lack of mutual understanding between the husband and the wife. But grandparents can be bridge to join the other members in the family. Since they are the most experienced people, they can practically handle the crises that come in the family.

Grandparents often tell interesting stories and anecdotes that provide the children lots of chance to think and imagine. It helps in their mental growth.

Both grandparents and grandchildren get emotional support from each other if they have a good relationship. The grandparents do not feel lonely and bored in their daily life, and the grandchildren do not feel they have nobody to love. The grandparents have high value in a family usually when parents are extremely busy and cannot provide even a little time to their children.

At last, children learn to respect the elders in the family. They see their parents showing respect to their grandparents and learn to do the same in future. DON’T FORGET: You reap what you sow.

(Published in The Himalayan Times on 01 October 2013.)