Marriage is a private affair

- Chinua Achebe, Nigeria (1930-2013)

I. Literal Comprehension

            Context: This story is written by Chinua Achebe (1930-2013), Nigeria. He is one of the most influential twentieth century African writers who wrote in English.

            Nene and Nnaemeka are engaged and are going to marry. Nene asks Nnaemeka to write to his father, Okeke, about their plan, but he doesn’t. He has a plan to go home on leave after six weeks and tell his father about it face to face. He knows that his father won’t be amused with the information because he has already chosen another girl called Ugoye Nweke, Nnaemeka’s former classmate at school, the eldest daughter of his neighbor, and a girl with a proper Christian upbringing, for him in the village. Only he hasn’t shown his father’s letter to Nene. Moreover, she is an outcaste for his father.

            Okeke is shocked to hear that his son has already been engaged with a girl rather than his choice in the town. Moreover, she is a teacher. He strongly believes, as a true Christian, that no woman should teach. He would accept even that, but she is not an Ibo girl. That completely upsets him. But he doesn’t show his violent anger to his son. He simply walks away into his room and stops talking to his son frequently. Finally, he gives up his son as lost.

            The villagers hear about the argument between the son and the father. They come to meet and sympathise with Okeke. Some of them advise him to consult a native doctor to bring his son to his right senses, but he rejects.

            Six months later, Nnaemeka receives a short letter from his father. He has sent Nene’s photo in the mutilated condition. It’s cut from the wedding photo that Nnaemeka had sent to his father. Nene cries, and Nnaemeka consoles her.

            For the next eight years, Nnaemaka’s father has nothing to do with him. He doesn’t allow him and his wife to return home. He always displays so much temper whenever his son’s name is mentioned that everyone avoids it in his presence. Even his relatives often ignore Nnaemeka and his wife. But as time goes on, Nene proves herself better than her husband’s relative women in housekeeping.

            One day, Okeke receives an emotional letter from Nene. While glancing through the letter without seriousness he is appealed by some lines in it. Nene has written that his two grandsons are willing to see their grandfather. Then, he feels he is fighting a losing battle. He fears that he might die without seeing his son’s family.

            The weather condition also reflects Okeke’s mood. The sky is overcast with black clouds and very soon it starts raining accompanied by thunder and lightning.

II. Interpretation

            This story has presented its subject matter, i. e. a marriage without parents’ consent, along with some crucial ideas to the readers. The first one is the generation gap that exists between Nnaemeka and his father. Nnaemeka’s father thinks that marriage should be done only with parental consent and the girl he has chosen for his son is the most suitable one because she has a proper Christian upbringing and belongs to his own tribe. On the other hand, Nnaemeka thinks that he has the right to choose a girl for himself and she must be educated, not necessarily of his own caste. Though the father hates his son’s wife and avoids taking his son’s name for eight long years, he never stops loving him. Nnaemeka himself shows a great patience and awaits the chance to amend the relationship with his father. This means though we may have generation gaps in our family we must deal with it considerately. Racial discrimination is another issue presented in the story. Nene is rejected by Nnaemeka’s father because she doesn’t belong to Ibo community. Even the relatives show prejudice against her. But Nene doesn’t fight or argue with them. Rather she has patience and proves herself worth respect by keeping her house better than them. The story might also be trying to tell us that there is no place for rigidity on the issue of marriage. Nnaemeka’s father tries to avoid his son and daughter-in-law for eight years, but cannot forget or give up them forever. At last, he feels remorseful and decides to be liberal.

III. Critical Thinking

            Some questions arose in my mind while reading the story. How can a marriage be a private affair if it affects one’s family members, especially parents, and the society so much? Why was Okeke so much rigid at first and crumbled at the end? Is it just because of his love for his grandsons or his loneliness and helplessness? Was it necessary for the writer to use the symbol of rain at the end of the story? Anyway, it’s a very nice piece of story.

IV. Assimilation

            I found the characters used in this story picked up from my society. I see many people like Nnaemeka and Okeke around me. The new generation people are educated and more liberal than the old generation people, therefore they are attracted to interracial marriages. Personally, I support inter-caste marriages. I think it is a very much effective tool to fight racial segregation and racial supremacy, and to establish racial harmony and tolerance in the society. But it takes time to make the rigid people understand its value.